Changed
by Simplybofa
Summary: Courtney and Duncan find out there's more than irritation behind their feelings... but what about the relationship that follows? How will they stay afloat? Loosely based on the actual plot of TDI
1. The Brink of Us

Courtney and Duncan Courtney and Duncan

"Courtney, wake up!" Someone yelled across the cabin. I groaned and rolled over, burying my face in my pillow. Too. Tired. "It's not like her to sleep in…" The voice commented.

I laid in silence, my tormentor giving up and going to an early breakfast; I went through the memories of two nights before in my head like a dream.

ELIMINATION. I hated that word. So, I knew I put up this whole 'I don't care and I know I'm safe' front when it came to that dreaded time, but the truth was I got scared out of my mind. It didn't used to be that way, at least not before I gained more ties to this stupid island and the whole situation… Now, though, I had come to dread eliminations. Why? Well, what's the point in arguing with myself? I had it bad for Duncan.

But I was getting off track. Night before last Sadie was voted off- yay- and I was growing more and more nervous. I had wandered off after elimination, feeling sick to my stomach with worry, and had just made it back to my cabin. They were munching on pizza and other synthetic junk like nothing had just happened. I suddenly felt the need to DO something. So I sat down on the floor, not saying a word, and began to stuff my mouth with whatever my hands came into contact with. The girls looked at me strangely while I downed my fourth piece of pizza and I suddenly felt sicker than before. Emotions whirled around in me as the food did in my stomach. The room began to shrivel. I got up and left without saying a word.

Outside after I had thrown up the last of the junk I had eaten I felt, strangely, a little better. Emotionally, at least. I knelt down on my knees, gasping for breath, the woods around me suddenly encroaching on my personal space. I couldn't remember how far I had gone. I looked around, head still slightly spinning and black dots forming at the corners of my vision, and tried to decipher where I was. I groaned and stood up, wobbling like a weeble, and stumbled to the nearest tree. Maybe ten minutes, give or take a few, had gone by and I was more lost than before. It's not like the woods were that big, in daylight I could have been back at the cabin already, but I wasn't in the best of conditions. So much for my CIT certification, that was officially a useless joke. I let out an exasperated cry and sunk to my knees. I wiped my mouth, stale from the previous escapades, and ran my fingers through my hair. The 'elimination headache', as I called it, had ensued.

"Courtney?" I heard. My name about made me jump out of my skin. I looked around. "Ha, man. What are you doing out-," Duncan faltered, his mimicking words skipping a beat as he got a better look at me. "Here?" He finished. I swallowed my pride and tried to stand up, mistake. I fell back and would have landed on my butt if Duncan hadn't caught my arm. He hoisted me up and I grabbed for a tree trunk.

"I'm fine." I snapped. He drew his hand away at my retaliation, a frown on his face. I was afraid his brash side would come out in return to my hateful comment. It would have been just like him to run screaming back to camp 'Come look at Courtney! Ha ha!'

"Okay." He shrugged, turning to leave just as my vision clouded over. I cursed under my breath, something I never do, as I felt myself fall back to the ground. Before I could see, Duncan was knelt down at my side again. I sighed.

"You don't have to stay." I whispered.

"You mean you don't want me to stay." He said, speaking more truth than I thought I had let on.

"It's not-," I started, rubbing my eyes to get the clouds to go away.

"Because you don't like to be seen this way?" He asked. "Is that it?" How was he that good at guessing how I felt?

"How-," I fumbled for words as his face finally came into clear view.

"C'mon, Courtney. It's not like this is the first time I've seen your 'darker side'." He punctuated 'darker side' with his finger quotation marks. I sighed and crossed my arms.

"This isn't me." I said, trying to convince him. He raised an eyebrow at me, a grin spread across his face. He nodded.

"Sure." Sarcasm laced the word; no, it oozed it. "This," He gestured toward me. "Isn't Courtney at all…" I frowned. The moon accented his features and not for the first time I realized his attractiveness. Chagrin tinged my cheeks. "Aw, I made you blush?" He whispered in my ear. I shivered, realizing that I wasn't hot anymore but cold.

"D- Duncan…" I said, trying to clear my head. I couldn't get our first kiss out of my brain, now. Even though nothing had really changed since that night, I hadn't let it completely leave my mind.

"Yes?" I heard, his breath tickled my ear. I closed my eyes and swallowed, my throat dry. When I opened them his face was dangerously close to mine. I couldn't find enough strength to care about where CIT Courtney had gone, letting free and careless Courtney take the reins, at least for the night. I reached my hand out, laying it on his chest cautiously, looking into his eyes for a reaction. The second my hand touched his shirt his wrenched it away, clutching it, and wrapping it around his neck. His eyes only had one basic emotion in them: urgency. Before I could blink his lips had crashed onto mine. I sighed and wrapped my other arm around his neck, drawing him closer to me. His lips tasted wonderful after the stale bile that had passed my lips. I pressed harder, deepening the kiss as a little moan escaped his mouth, his hands tan through my hair.

"Whoa," I managed to eek out. "Head rush." I withdrew one hand from him and placed it on my head, trying to get the second Duncan to merge with the first. He became serious.

"Are you okay?" He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders and squaring them to make our eyes meet; he had to duck his head because of his height.

"I… I think." I said, and then it hit me. "Duncan." He was kind of waving his hands around me, looking for something to help. So when he looked up, his expression was startled.

"Yeah?" He asked. I stared at him. When he still didn't say anything, I raised an eyebrow. Recognition registered in his eyes. When he started to lean in to me, I raised one finger.

"Hold on," I said. "What just happened?" I was utterly confused at what we were going to do now that we had really _kissed_. Where did that leave us? Our relationship? Would we tell people? And what about after we leave camp Wawanakwa? Would we commute or have a long distance relationship? I go to college in a month, what would we do?

SLOW DOWN, Careless Courtney tells CIT Courtney. There is no reason to start planning the next fifty years of our life if we don't make it the next five minutes. I mean, really… Duncan? Yes, I'll admit, I like him… But would I want to be in a long relationship with this egotistical, moronic, barbaric, annoying, hid-… Yes. I think I would.

"Courtney?" Duncan asked. I snapped back to reality and smiled. "Yeah?" I sighed.

"Did you hear what I said?" He asked. "Are you okay? You looked a little weird for a second." Nice, Duncan. I rolled my eyes. Way to get the girl. At the thought of his ignorance I had to smile again.

"Yeah, I'm okay. What did you say?" I placed my hands in my lap.

"I said maybe we should keep what we have between us for now." He said. Ouch.

"W- why?" I stuttered out. Was he embarrassed to be with me? Was there a bet with Geoff and DJ? What?

"If Chris finds out we're seeing each other he'll flip and want to get all up in our business." He said. Oh. "I mean, if it's what you want." He put up his hands in surrender to me. Interesting.

"I guess that's probably a good idea." I seeded. I wasn't going to fight him on this- at least, not right now.

"I just don't want to be more trouble for you than necessary." He kind of mumbled. Huh?

"Trouble?" I asked. What did he mean by that?

"I. Am. Trouble." He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Now that I think about it, maybe you shouldn't be with me…" His eyes were on the ground, like he was fascinated with a bug or something. Yeah, right.

"Duncan," I said, trying to get his attention. I snapped my fingers. No reply. So I reached over and lifted his head with my hand. "I…" I swallowed, admitting this was harder than I thought. "I do want to be with you."

"No lie?" He asked, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"No lie." I said, content in my voice. I could tell he was starting to remember what had just happened, I was too.

"Last warning. Back out while you can." He said seriously, but his finger trailed the contours of my hand and that was it for my line of thinking.

"Mmh hmm." I sighed, taking his hand. He bit his lip. I frowned at his hesitation. "Don't hold back on me, now. Even if you are a nice guy."

"Shh..." He said, pulling me into his arms. He kissed me lightly. "You promised me. Secret's safe." I smiled.

The rest of that night was a euphoric blur of kisses and touching. When I try to remember it, I picture pink gas. I don't know why. I just remember feeling warm.


	2. Im Sorry

Courtney and Duncan II Courtney and Duncan II

"No, Duncan!" I snatched my arm out of his grasp. Speed walking, I was able to get away for about a total of three seconds. Drat his athletic abilities. Damn his athletic abilities, Careless Courtney says.

"Courtney, I don't see why you're making such a huge fit about this!" He exclaimed. It started to rain and as the seconds of brisk walking passed, we got more and more soaked. I stopped, suddenly, and Duncan had to backtrack a few steps to get to where I was.

"Oh my god!" I screeched in intolerance. It had only been a few weeks and we were already having our third fight. Duncan looked like he might be about to laugh. I frowned. "What are you smiling about?"

"You so sounded like a spoiled teenager just now." He laughed. "Or a bird; it's just to close to call." He wiped his brow. My blood boiled and I started walking again. "Hey," He called after me, running again to catch up.

"Duncan, you can't even comprehend how much I just want to be alone right now." I said; my voice had taken on a shrill, anxious quality.

"Hey," He said, grabbing my arm again. I yanked it away. "Stop doing that!" He said.

"Why? So you can feed me more crap about secrets?" I said. I knew I was pushing it. "I don't even know why you're really still walking with me at all." I crossed my arms against the wind that had begun to pick up.

"Crap? About secrets?" He asked, playing the part of the ignorant boyfriend down to the "T". I stopped again; I couldn't walk in the wind anymore. My cheeks stung from the little needlepoint pelts of rain.

"I can't do this with you Duncan. Why don't you just dump me? Why do you have to torture me like this?" I wished I hadn't asked him that. Ugh, I really wish I hadn't said any of that at all now… CIT Courtney scolds Careless Courtney. Duncan's expression changes from amused and perturbed to alerted.

"What do you mean?" He said, crossing his arms from the cold too. A little sound of embarrassment and frustration escaped my mouth.

"That is exactly what I mean." I motioned toward him. I couldn't deny him- his wet shirt clung to him; his hair was tussled like it always was after we had been together. I blush. CIT Courtney corrects me on my image of our together, the one I pictured. We had only been together for a few weeks, after all, she says.

"Quit it with the code talk, Courtney." He sighed. "Just speak in plain English." Now, I didn't really want to, though.

"Never mind." I said. We were in the forest, once again; it was, after all, where we seemed to do most of our soul searching. I hunkered down against a tree and hugged my knees. The wind blew at my back and sent my hair billowing in front of my face. Duncan sat too and sighed.

"Really, what is it?" He asked, placing a hand on my knee. Oh, now that wasn't fair. He's not supposed to turn into Soft Duncan when I am madder at him than I ever have been. My heart involuntarily picked up speed. "Tell me." He said. I groaned.

"I can't keep up this charade, Duncan." I said. "This sick thing we have. It is wearing me down." I rubbed my arms; chill bumps making themselves more prominent as the rain picked up speed. Duncan was still now.

"Oh," He said, turning his head away. My heart sank a little lower than it was.

"What you said to me in there," I said, faltering as I got up the courage to finish the sentence. "Well, it really hurt." He turned to face me again, blue eyes sullen.

"I'm sorry." He said. Ah, there was that stab. I had almost come to terms with it. The ever prominent, never tardy stab my heart received whenever he said he was sorry. I almost cried. He reached over and put his hand on my cheek. "I am so sorry." I closed my eyes as the pain welled in my chest.

"Duncan…" I sighed, struggling to swallow. "If you don't really like me than just get it over with." I said, squeezing my eyes as his thumb moved across my cheek. "Just tell me." He was silent for a minute and I didn't dare open my eyes to see the expression his held.

"Courtney," He said after an agonizing minute of silent rain. "I don't want to stop seeing you." My heart sunk further. If that was the case, was I to endure this torment for the rest of our time together? "I just…" He faltered. "I just don't know if I'm ready to show that side of me."

"You don't have to be the tough guy." I pressed. "Tough guys aren't always the best." I had meant that his softer side was better… His thumb paused mid-caress and my eyes flashed open and darted to his face. Oops. Too late to save the moment now. CIT Courtney said 'I told you so', and Careless Courtney sighed and waited for retaliation. I shut my eyes again as his thumb pressed hard against my cheek. I breathed in and tried to become still as a statue. _Come back, Duncan_. Soft Duncan had disappeared and Hard Duncan had come to bid hello. His thumb pressed harder still into my cheek. The pain was growing worse. I couldn't hold it much longer. A soft whimper sounded through pressed lips. Immediately the pain subsided and I opened my eyes. The rage was gone. Hello, Soft Duncan. Pain now swam over his face.

"I'm sorry." He said, hanging head in his hands. I crumpled and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "I am so sorry." I sighed as I felt the stab. He let his head fall on my chest. I couldn't deny my weakness toward him; I couldn't really imagine being with out him.

"Duncan, it's alright." I said. The rain poured now with a vengeance and I started to cry. "It's alright." His hand reached up and grabbed the back of my shirt. My heart swelled to fill the sinking of earlier.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear. My tears fell heavier now.

"I know." I said, wishing his love was more than what he gave. "I love you too."

So this is very short, but hopefully it angsts it up. The plot has started rolling and we're on our way! Yeah dude!


	3. A Little Later

Courtney and Duncan III

I sighed as I sat up, the light pouring in from the window across the room. I looked around; wasn't there a green mohawk sleeping next to me a second ago? I stood, tugging down his black skull shirt; it swallowed me whole. I smelled coffee…

I tiptoed through the living room, crossing into the tiny kitchen. There _was_ coffee. Yay. Careless Courtney laughed at my lack of enthusiasm. I hummed an MCR song as I poured a cup of the black lava. It scalded my throat but it was just what I needed to wake myself up. Today Bridgette was supposed to come over… I had a lot to do.

"Duncan?" I called, wrapping my arm around myself. It was freezing outside. Winter was always so bitter. I had to understand where it was coming from on bitterness, though. Being the season that made everything run and hide to get warm and wait for you to be gone couldn't be very fun. I felt sorry for winter, actually.

"Yeah?" He called. I followed his voice, the coffee in my hands sloshing around in its porcelain cage.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Where do you think?" He called back. Of course; it was foolish of me to think of him being anywhere else. I walked down an empty hall toward the only door at the end. It was slightly open. I crept closer, wondering what his joy was today. Then I heard music. Sweet, deep notes being strummed from a guitar. I stretched out a black fingernailed hand and pushed open the door a little more to see.

Duncan sat on the large black leather chair, his hair tussled after sleep. A laptop sat on an old desk pushed in a corner and pages of notes sat scattered, torn, and crumpled on the floor around him. I leaned against the doorframe, wondering what kind of mood he was in today.

"Hey." I said, hesitantly. He looked up and smiled. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey." He said, putting the guitar down and holding out his arm. I walked toward him, putting my coffee cup on the battered desk.

"Don't stop." I said, sitting in his embrace. He nestled his nose into the crook of my neck and breathed in. I smiled and leaned into him.

"I can't play with you in my lap." He said. I frowned, leaning to get up. "No, no, no." He tutted. "I can play later."

"Have you written anything?" I asked.

"Nothing worth listening to." He looked at the crumpled heap at our feet, the sun played off of his hair.

"Oh come on," I swatted at him and leaned to pick up a ball of paper near his toe.

"Don't," He groaned, pulling me back up toward him. "They all suck, trust me." I sighed and leaned down again.

"I don't believe you." I said, picking up the ball I had my eyes on. It was heavy and as I unfolded it not one but three pieces of crumpled paper revealed themselves. "What's this?"

"Nothing." He made a grab at the papers but I held them out of his reach. "Courtney, give me the papers." I held on to his arm with one hand and looked at the papers.

"What could they be?" I smiled. "A love song? Mushy stuff?" Duncan sighed and sat back.

"Courtney, give me the damn papers." He said, in a low tone.

"I don't think I will." I said. CIT Courtney bit her lip at the way this conversation was headed but Careless Courtney just wanted to read the papers.

"I mean it." He said. I ignored him, my attention on what I was holding. I read aloud, blurring the stanzas into one long sentence structure.

"You don't care don't care about me. I draw away and you draw near. Why my dear cant you see? I don't care about you don't care about me. What is care anyways not the way to spend your days. It's not worth your time so turn yourself around you scream as I scream at you fall to the ground." I glanced at him. He stared back at me. Both of our good moods had evaporated. I flipped the page. "I know that I hate it I know you do to. So why do you care that I care about you?" My voice faltered. I flipped to the last page. Blank.

"I said that you shouldn't have read it." He said, his voice part annoyed and part sad. I placed the papers on the floor and turned to face him.

"I know." I said. He bit his lip and a little part of me grew warm again. "It's powerful, Duncan."

"When I said not to read it I had my reasons." He said, his fist clenching. CIT Courtney took this into account.

"I'm sorry." I said, trying to fix the brief bliss I had ruptured. I could hear his teeth grinding and looked at him. "Duncan I am very sorry."

His blue eyes took me in, ran over my face, body and back again. His expression changed again to sad. "Courtney…" He faltered. I swallowed and placed my hand over his. "I can't change who I am. But every time I think about…" He stopped, obviously thinking about the last time Hard Duncan had taken over. I remembered it just as vividly as he did. It was one of his worst retaliations. I ended up in the hospital for a few hours.

"I don't care, Duncan." I lied. "I don't care about him, only about you. The you I'm looking at right now. I always know you'll come back."

"It doesn't matter, Courtney!" He urged. "It just doesn't matter anymore."

"What are you saying?" I asked his down turned face.

"I just think…" He started, finishing with a sigh. My heart rate accelerated. I looked at our little media room that was part of our small two-bedroom house. It was one of my favorite places to be. Duncan always talked about bigger and better things. What was in store for us tomorrow… But our imperfect little yellow house was perfect for two people just out of college. I just couldn't make him see that imperfection, in this one situation, was okay.

"Duncan…" I ran a hand over my eyes. "You don't know what you're saying."

"But I do, Courtney. I just don't think I'm right for you." He folded his arms. For the first time since our last fight, I was genuinely mad.

"You say that every time!" I exclaimed, standing up. "You don't really mean it and you know it." I frowned. "You know we're right for each other." I thought back to last night and my cheeks tinged pink, as I was flooded with the warmth that was Duncan and our rightness. Even if it was sometimes truly wrong.

"I mean it this time, Courtney!" He stood up, too. "I don't think we should see each other anymore." I blinked back frustrated tears that were welling. We always came full circle to this impasse.

"If you mean it than go pack up your stuff." I said in a low, quivering voice. "You can leave."

"No, you leave." He strode over to where I had backed up. "It's always the same to you. What I do doesn't matter. But it does so I want _you_ to leave." It was my turn to grit my teeth.

"You. Are. An. Ass." Careless Courtney said in a spitting voice. It was one of the few times I had let her take over my vocal chords. CIT Courtney shook her head in disbelief at what I had just done. Duncan breathed in a long, hot breath. "You know you are!" I justified.

"That's what I've been saying the whole time!" He exclaimed. "Why can't you get that?"

"Because I refuse to glorify you in that way. It's what you want." I squinted. "It's what you've always wanted."

Smack. Right across my cheek; I placed a hand gingerly over where he'd slapped it. It wasn't the worst he'd done. I looked at him, hesitantly. His eyes were very large and instantly full of disgust for himself and remorse.

"There are so many things I regret." He whispered, sinking down onto his knees, breathing hard. I blinked and shuddered, sinking down to join him.

"Duncan…" I started, but when he looked up at me I instantly trailed off.

"I'm sorry." He said. Ouch. There was the pain.

"I know you are, Duncan." I said, reaching out a hand to take his but he met me half way, pulling me to him. He kissed me feverently and hungrily. I breathed in and sunk into him. Routine was always kind in this way. The doorbell rang. Careless Courtney cursed. But he was already pulling away, questioning.

"Bridgette." I murmured, putting my hair behind my ears and getting up to put on pants.

"Courtney…" He called after me.

"I know." I said. "You didn't mean it."

I ran to the door; it had taken all of a minute to put on a pair of jeans and fix my fly away hair. Duncan was standing in the living room, still on edge, but attempting a look of welcome. The doorbell rang for the tenth time.

"That's annoying." Duncan muttered at me as I approached the door, pulling it open to reveal Bridgette and, surprisingly, Geoff. They stood there for a minute, taking me in, I guess.

"Hey Courtney." Bridgette said, stepping in; Geoff followed suit.

"Bridgette!" I hugged her neck and stood back. I could feel Duncan evanesce behind me- supporting. "Hey Geoff." I turned toward him. He looked great and exactly the same.

"Long time no see!" He said, punching Duncan in the knuckles. "How's the biz, bro?" He asked Duncan.

"It's treading. We'll see how Friday goes." He said, referring to his date with a record company that had had him keyed up for weeks. "Sup Bridge?"

"The usual." She smiled at him but kept her eyes on me for the moment. "Courtney, I really missed you." She smiled. "Life isn't the same since college." I smiled back at her.

"I know. Two hours is a long drive away." I said, crossing my arms and going to sit on the couch. The others followed, Duncan slid in next to me and Bridgette and Geoff sat opposite us on the love seat. "How have you been?"

"Fine." She sighed. "Got a job coaching soccer at a school near Vancouver." She smiled. "It's okay for now, biding my time until Geoff gets lucky at the company. Internships suck." Geoff nudged her. "But they really like his work." She added as a final point.

"I'm taking pictures. I love to do it. So everything else will work itself out." He said to us. "Bridge gets that." He smiled and took his hat off. I smiled, too but I noticed Bridgette scrutinizing me again. It was unnerving.

"I hope you guys got here ok." I said, fishing for conversation. Duncan chuckled and wrapped an arm around me.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear as Geoff started on about the drive down here. I smiled a little. We talked about traveling for a while, then.

"Courtney, today we have to visit Geoff's parents. We don't get down here very much." Bridgette said later, giving a little forced laugh. "But maybe later tonight we can all meet up for dinner somewhere." She suggested this with a hopeful look on her face.

"I didn't know you had to leave so soon." I said, frowning. "When do you have to visit them?" Geoff looked at his watch.

"In about thirty minutes." He said, standing. "Which means we probably need to go if we're going to get there on time." Bridgette stood, too.

"But you both just got here." I protested. Bridgette frowned up at Geoff.

"I told you it would be hard to leave." She said. "How about we stay just another hour… Your parents won't mind." She smiled up at him, putting a finger on his chest. He frowned and hesitated. But his resolve wasn't shaken.

"I told my mom twelve o'clock." He turned to us. "I'm really sorry guys. Wouldn't have made such a short visit but Bridge had to see you." Bridgette was looking at me again, frowning. "But can we still meet up somewhere for dinner?"

"Sure." I quickly said. I wanted to get the frown off of Bridgette's face.  
"The usual place." Duncan said to Geoff as we walked them to the door. Bridgette lagged behind us for a second. I couldn't tell if she was pouting or not but it looked like she truly didn't want to leave.

"Come on, babe, we'll see 'em soon." He comforted. She walked over to us slowly but didn't protest. Geoff opened the door.

"See you in a little while Courtney." She smiled, hugging me again. Before she pulled away she touched her hand to my cheek. This wouldn't have seemed out of the ordinary if the cheek she touched hadn't already been throbbing dully. She turned to Duncan. "Bye."

"Bye." He said after her, shutting the door behind her. "Weird." He said to me. I guess he noticed me looking at the closed door. I was still thinking about the look on her face as she left. It almost looked like pity. Duncan slipped his hand in mine, leading me back to the living room. I clutched his, thinking about ten minutes earlier.

"I'm so-," I started to say to him, but I noticed Geoff's hat sitting on the love seat.  
"Uh oh. I better run this out to him." I said to Duncan. He frowned and squeezed my hand until I was past arm's length, only then did he let go. I sprinted to the door, throwing it open. Good, they were still there.

"Hey, Geoff," I started, walking toward them. Their voices were muffled but they sounded urgent. I walked to the tree at the edge of our walkway and stood behind it, listening.

"Geoff, tell me you didn't see her cheek." Bridgette whispered, folding her arms.

"Bridge, I did but what do you think you're going to do about it today?" He said, he was opening the car door. She sighed.

"I don't know… Talk to her?" She let out an aggravated sound. "Did you see her? She's all different. Black everything just like him. Do we have to go?" She tried one last time.

"I wish we didn't, but we kind of do, hon." He said, getting into the car. Bridgette looked at the house one last time.

"I just want to help Court-," She said, still talking as she got in and shut the car door.

I stood there, watching them drive away. Was my cheek that red? For a second I was embarrassed. We sat there, all thinking something along the same lines but were acting like nothing was going on out of the ordinary… My cheeks tinged. Then I was a little mad. Bridgette just didn't understand. If she had asked she would know… I paused, thinking for a few more seconds before turning to walk back to the house, hat still in hand. I opened the door.

"Duncan?" I called, sitting the hat on the coffee table. Where had he gotten to now?

"Yeah?" He said. "I'm in the kitchen." I walked toward it as he walked out of it, two fresh cups of coffee in his hands. I smiled.

"Thanks." I said, taking one from him. We sat on the couch. I looked at him, sitting across from me, my feet rested in his lap, and smiled. Sure, there were times I didn't necessarily want to be with him, but he kept winning me back. As if he had read my thoughts, he smiled. I studied the smile before smiling back at him.

"Courtney?" He asked. I took a sip of my coffee.

"Yes?" I said, leaning my head against the back of the couch.

"Does it hurt?" He asked. The smile was gone from his face now and concern formed an aged mask around his young features.

I knew what he was talking about but asked anyways. "My face?"

"Yes." He said, curtly. I sighed.

"A little, but not really." I said. I was tired of dwelling on this subject. The morning had been stressful enough. "But I'm okay." He frowned. "Really."

"I can see it." He said, putting his coffee on the coffee table. "Where I hit you. It's red. And raised a little." He reached out as if to touch it but thought better of it and put his hand back down. "It has to hurt."

I reached out and took his hand, placing it on my cheek. It was cool to the touch. He frowned again. But I couldn't help but smile.

"Why are you smiling?" He said, still angry with himself.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it." His brow furrowed. "I'm thinking about the time in camp when we ditched out of a challenge and went in the forest." My tactic seemed to have worked, a small smile played on his lips. I wanted to reach out and touch them, but resisted the impulse.

"You made me." He said. "Said you wanted to talk…" He drew his hand down from my cheek. I laughed.

"Oh, yes. I wanted to talk." I said. "Wasn't it a stimulating conversation?" He laughed too and rubbed the back of his neck.

"You so wanted me." He said, drawing me closer to him and wrapping his arms around me. For old time's sake I said my line, too.

"Your delinquent ways had my head all foggy. I wasn't myself." I could feel the vibrations of his laugh as he kissed my cheek. "I'm not like that." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck, too. "That wasn't me."

"Oh, shush." He said, giving me a quick kiss. "You know you wanted me." He kissed me again, this time longer. My head did fog over, then.

"Mmm Hmm." I said into his kiss. He smiled and wrapped his arms tighter.


	4. Nectarines and Pillow Talk

**Courtney and Duncan IV**

The sun shone bright as ever as I walked through the farmer's market, my purchase in my arms. The wind was crisp and the crackling leaves swirled around on the ground, giving me a sort of theme music. I walked toward the car, running and vibrating, and opened the passenger side front door, getting in. Duncan reached over and turned down the music and the vibrating presumably stopped.

"What'd ya get?" He asked, reaching over to tilt the brown paper bag and peering in at its contents.

"Apples. And some other stuff." I smiled.

"Nectarines?" He asked eagerly. I reached in and extracted a single, perfect, tiny orange and handed it to him. He whooped and began to tear into the fruit.

"You'll never guess who I saw at the register." I said, drawing my feet onto the seat and my knees to my chin, wrapping my arms around them.

"Who?" He mumbled, mouth already full of fruit.

"Harold." I smiled, suppressing a chuckle as Duncan's jubilant face turned sour. He stopped chewing and concentrated on focusing his energy on what he said next.

"What did that little twit want?" He growled, resuming chewing. I suppressed another giggle as the flattery of what he said wore off.

"He apologized." I said in a semi-defiant tone. He raised an eyebrow at me. "He immediately asked how I was and if we were still together. I told him we were." I paused here as Duncan looked about to say something but thought better of it. "He really sounded sorry for pulling that little elimination stunt." I smiled.

"Little elimination stunt?" Duncan demanded, mimicking my light tone. A loud rap resounded from his window, though, and he jumped, nectarine flying from his mouth as he turned to look at a taller, grinning Harold.

"And he said he was going to come say hi." I added, glad Harold had introduced the subject so I wouldn't have to. Duncan growled but rolled down the window.

"Hey dude!" Harold exclaimed, reaching his hand into the car. Duncan proceeded to awkwardly shake it before releasing it as if it were contaminated. "Thought I'd drop by, say hi."

"Hi." Duncan grunted. I smiled at Harold.

"Courtney told me all about how you guys have been. I've been great, started writing my own comic…"

"We really can stay long, I left beans on the stove." I chided. Duncan smiled at me. Harold, on the other hand, groaned.

"Well that sucks! It was great to see you guys, though." He said, airily.

"You too." I smiled at him again as Duncan proceeded to roll the window up on him, forcing him to turn and stalk away. Then, Duncan rounded on me.

"I've always hated that guy!" He exclaimed. "And after what he did to you…" He trailed off and I smiled at his attempt to keep his composure.

"I know, that's why I sent him off almost immediately." I said.

"Beans on the stove?" Duncan joked. "Really? Beans. On. The. Stove." He grinned.

"I could have left beans on the stove." I shrugged defiantly. He chuckled and put the car in drive.

"Sure."

The next few weeks played out similar to the ones before. Smooth, easy, and relatively uneventful. Duncan seemed determined to show me his more amenable side and I was happy to indulge in it, not regretful of the loss of strife and his rage issues. About three weeks later after a long day, we laid in bed, talking. It's worth remembrance because talking didn't usually happen much in our bed.

"Courtney?" I heard Duncan ask and opened my eyes to see him tracing lines in my palm.

"Hmm?" I sleepily mumbled, curling my toes as I yawned. His tracing became more determined as he stared at my palm.

"I…" He paused and sighed. "I just wanted to say, before you got too sleepy, that I'm so sorry." He looked up at my face, which I'm sure was puzzled. We hadn't had a row in a long while.

"What for?" I asked.

"For everything. I think back a lot; I can't help it. I think about how I treat you sometimes, how angry I can get…" He trailed off again, his grip tightening around my hand. "There are so many things I regret…" He whispered.

"You've said that before." I whispered back, feeling it necessary with the severity the conversation was taking. "What do you regret?" I asked. "The time when our antlers got stuck together? Or the time we raided Chef's fridge? Or the birthday of mine where you surprised me with a candlelit picnic?" I stopped as the sweet memories overtook me. "Maybe the day I found out my gran had died and you spent hours just holding me and letting me scream and cry? Or was it the time when I had the flu and you went out at two o'clock in the morning to get me a grape slushy because it was the only thing I could hold down?" I faltered, realizing I was prattling now. Duncan was silent for a while.

"You don't understand." He said, putting his other hand on top of the one of mine he was holding, encasing it. I reached my free hand and ran my fingers through his green mohawk, feeling the softness of the grown hair. I smiled at the familiarity of it.

"I think I understand more than you think I do." I said, my voice soft and raspy. My eyes sagged with weight of a long day's past.

"Courtney, you only remember the good things." He said, his voice almost anguished.

"They're the best parts. It's reasonable that I remember those." I said.

"But all the other times…" He said.

"You only remember the bad." I interjected. "Sometimes, I can tell you're thinking about them. The rough times."

"I can't help it!" He said. "How can you not? They overshadow the good times, always a dark spot on the corner of a good memory." He groaned. "When I think about the day we danced in the kitchen together, the memory of the bruise still yellow on your arm blots out the happiness."

"It's not always that way, though." I said.

"Court, I've hurt you." He squeezed his eyes shut and drew in a breath. "I've _hurt_ you. I think that sentence and I want to take a chainsaw to my head."

"You and your chainsaws…" I sighed. "Duncan, you know what I think about when I remember us dancing in the kitchen?" I asked.

"What?" He whimpered. I frowned at his obvious pain, but had to smile at the memory.

"I think about what I was feeling." I sighed. "I think about the butterflies that were fluttering in my stomach. I think about the love that swelled in my heart." I paused to look at him as he stilled to my words. "And I think about how happy I felt." I lamented, laying my head on his shoulder. "So stop worrying so much about the bad stuff."

He sighed in defeat and kissed the top of my head. "I love you. So much. I don't think I tell you enough…" He said. I turned up to him and kissed him softly before laying my head back down on his shoulder.

"I love you too." I said. We were both silent for a long while after that. When I had almost drifted to sleep I heard his whisper.

"I won't ever hurt you again." He said in my ear, nuzzling his nose against it. I sighed, contented. I had never needed his reassurance, but having it- no matter how true it may have proved to hold- was still a sweeping relief.

**So I'm sorry it's taken a long while to update, but I've been struggling on ways to realy Duncan's softer side. Oh! And I'm sorry its so short. I had a hit of inspiration and decided to strike. Longer updates can be expected promptly. Or... promp_ter_ than this one. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	5. Changed

**Courtney and Duncan V**

**Tuesday December 18**

My phone is ringing off the hook.

I would answer it, but being as I'm in the shower I'm really not able. But I'm not kidding; this would be the seventh time it's rung.

Make that the eighth.

Of course, they are all missed calls from Duncan. I know that. But I'm just not ready to talk to him.

We've been separated for about a week now. I'm living with my mom again and I have to say it's kind of refreshing to be back at home. I've missed the conservative décor, the smell of new furniture. I haven't been here in such a long time.

Mom's taking it all better than I would have thought. I haven't told her much but that I needed a break. I think she's actually more concerned about what I'm going to do with my life than why I'm here, but I'm used to it. Same old mom.

My brother's been a real pal, too. I'm using sarcasm there. He's always in my room and asking about why I'm not with Duncan. He might as well be one of those gossip-mongers; he's just as bad as any of them. He's actually been hounding me about meeting him. He's always doing that.

I step out of the shower, wrapping my towel tight and picking up my phone with a dripping hand. It's not exactly a surprise to see Duncan's name with a big 8 next to it. All calls in succession of twelve forty-five and twelve fifty? I'll say.

I'm debating on whether or not I should call him back. I keep dialing his number and hesitating over the send button for a minute before moving to push the clear button instead. After five rounds of this, I toss the phone on my bed, stepping into my closet to get dressed.

**Thursday December 20**

I would just like to say that this sucks. No matter what I do I'm not happy. If I go near him I feel like I'll get hurt. If I stay away my heart aches. I really don't know what to do.

Whenever I think of him I picture his face on his birthday last year. I gave him a dog. It may seem pretty cliche; but I rescued it from a pound just outside of our city limits. One of his ears is ragged, half of it gone. Apparently he used to be forced to dog fight or something, but he's actually very sweet. Almost shy. He and Duncan have such a likeness.

Anyway, when I led him into the room and Duncan almost looked embarrassed, like he had done something wrong. Turns out he didn't know how to really take care of a dog. But I helped him. Now they're inseparable. The dog's name? Jethro.

I don't know why his embarrassed face comes to mind when he's in my thoughts. I guess it was the most fallible I've ever seen him look. It is an unconsciously beautiful expression...

Now, though, I'm really beginning to miss him.

**Friday December 21**

_**Court, I'm going to call you but I really need for you to answer. Please don't hang up.**_

I stare at my phone screen. It's glowing in my dark room, straining my eyes. The tiny clock in the top right hand of the screen says two fifteen a.m. but it feels like four and I'm so very tired. Two sixteen.

Incoming call. _**Duncan**_.

"Hello?"

"You answered…"

"Yeah… I guess I did."

Silence.

"Duncan?"

A sigh.

"Yes?"

"Why have you been calling me?"

"Seems weird not to hear your voice."

I squeeze my eyes closed as tight as they'll go, clutching the phone to my ear, pulling the covers over my head.

**Friday December 21**

Now it really is four…

"I know."

"I hate it."

"Me too."

"Come back."

It's a whisper.

"Duncan…"

"Courtney, I don't mean that anything will change. I haven't changed. But anything is better than this."

He has to grunt to get the words out, like he can't force them hard enough.

"Duncan…"

Silence.

"Duncan, you're sick."

I need to take a deep breath.

This can't be happening.

"You can't control yourself. You told me that."

"I know, but…"

It's weak. I override it gently.

"You told me to leave."

Silence.

**Friday December 21**

Four twenty…

"I just want to see you."

"I know."

"It's like I'm running out of air."

My resolve is swaying.

I feel like this could be dangerous.

Will I dare to ask?

"What are you doing?"

"Me?"

"Right now."

"Nothing."

I slide the covers off of my body.

It's freezing.

Two steps. I slide my shoes on.

Four steps. I'm out the door.

**Friday December 21**

"Duncan?"

Arms snake around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. His chest is heaving; he ran here. I burry my face in his chest. It feels so good. Right.

This isn't happening.

"Courtney." It's another whisper. He doesn't want to break the fragile balance we have for this instance. I don't want him to either. I'm silent. "I'm so sorry."

My heart breaks.

This feels like the end.

**Thanks so much for reading! This really is the end. For now. I'm almost positive im going to make an epilogue for this... It's been a long ride but I really do love Courtney and Duncan! Reviews are like presents so I would greatly appreciate them!**

**Happy READING.**

**Simplybofa**


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